Lets start unpacking today’s message, do you really want to save your marriage?
I have one question for you: do you want to save your marriage? If the answer is yes, you have a hard road ahead of you. But, before you start down that path, you have to answer this question in the affirmative.
Take a hard look at the state of your marriage. Is this the person you want to be with in five years?
If not, you don’t need to read any further. Just go down to the closest divorce attorney.
Still with me? Good. I’m going to show you how to save your marriage.
Once you have decided that your marriage is worth saving, you can start to do the work that is necessary. Don’t even think about going to the divorce lawyer any more. You’ve made the commitment to stick with your relationship.
Now that you have put divorce out of your mind, accept that there will have to be changes in the relationship. If you want the relationship to work more than your partner does, then you are the one who is going to have to do the most changing. That’s a simple fact. It is like the person who has the bigger aversion to messiness usually does the most cleaning around the house. The person who wants the relationship to work more will have to do the most changing.
You have to be prepared to talk more too. Set aside time to get to know your partner once again. If he or she has hobbies that they are willing to share with you, get involved even if you are not all that into darts or scrap-booking.
If your partner is willing to agree to it, marriage counseling may be what you need to save your marriage. A relationship counselor or therapist will be able to look at your marriage from the outside, ask probing questions, and get you to open up to each other.
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Once you have the “ideal” out of your head, you will be able to work on what is real and what is good. These are the standards you should be applying to your marriage.
Do you want to save your marriage? Good. But know the hard work lies ahead.
And, friends if infidelity has raised its ugly head in your marriage, here is an excellent resource to help you.
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The bare knuckles of this message is – you both have to sit down and first of all acknowledge that marriage is a long term committment. Probably no other committment you make can last as long as marriage. We have been at it for 50+ years. By the way not all of it perfect.
C ‘mon, act like grownups. That other situation will eventually turn out just like the one you are in. Are you planning on many short term marriages? Why not work at this marriage – it will be worth it!
As we journey,