Yes, I said you need an “I Want To”, from the both of you in order to save your marriage.
Yes, I am talking to both spouses. After 50+ years of marriage I need to repeat it “It wasn’t all perfect”. And like anything else in life to get the best you have to give your best.
Marriage Problems Cannot Be Solved By Just One Person
If your marriage between the two of you is to the point of questioning how long you will be together, you may be asking how to save my marriage. Remember that a marriage is a union of two people, so finding solutions to your marriage problems together is essential. These problems cannot be solved by just one of you.
Here are some tips that can help bring you together and increase the chances of your marriage lasting:
No marriage is perfect. Unlike fairy tales, typical marriages have their flaws just like each of us do. Do not expect perfection from each other. Accept that there will be lumps and bumps along the way.
Marriage requires work. For your marriage to work, both of you need to realize that it takes work to make a marriage strong. The more work that you put into your marriage can result in an honest and happy relationship. If you do not take this seriously, it can be detrimental. The areas that typically need the most work involve trust and respect in one another . Without these things, your relationship will fall apart.
Communicate and listen effectively. Create an environment where you can talk to each other without getting upset. Speak calmly and clearly about how you feel and allow your spouse to do the same. Make sure to listen to what they have to say, regardless of what they say. Discuss how each of you feel and find common ground where both of you feel that you can find solutions for issues you are facing. The more open and honest you are with each other, the better.
Do not dwell on past problems. Do not let past mistakes or misunderstandings determine the future of your marriage. While your past problems may be quite serious, dwelling on them will not help your marriage. Focus on the here and now and take each day as it comes.
Be more giving to one another. Be considerate of each others needs and feelings. You can do caring gestures to simply show that you are thinking of them. If you are unsure as to what you should do for your spouse, ask them what you can do to make them happy. Doing something that will make them feel loved and special can go a long way towards strengthening your relationship. Sometimes doing the simplest things can mean the most to them.
If you are both truly committed to making changes to save your marriage, a good resource is this from Amy Waterman a marriage counselor who many of you I am sure have seen on various TV programs. Or, possibly have read a book or two by her.
Don’t be ashamed to ask for or seek HELP! Usually it’s the first step in saving your marriage.