Saving Your Marriage And The Emotional Affair

Emotional Infidelity: 18 smart things to do when faced with an emotional affair

A common plea in emotional infidelity: But, we’re “just friends.” However the “emotional connection” is quite obvious by the  amount of time spent in communication and the “vibes” that are  set off.

These emotional connections often arise at work or in a social  context in which working intensively toward a common goal  consumes energy.

Emotional Affairs

Emotional Infidelity Can Be Hazardous To Your Marriage.

This type of affair usually corresponds closely with Affair #4, outlined in the ebook, Break Free From the Affair. This is an extramarital affair in which the cheating spouse “fell out of love…and just loves being in love.”

Here are 18 smart things you should do if you are confronted with an emotional affair:

1. Hang onto your seat. Drama rules in emotional infidelity.

2. Don’t allow him/her to tell you about the other person.

3. Expect juvenile behavior (love notes, special names, etc.)

4. Refuse to buy into the silly notion that they are “in love.” In reality, it’s a sign of personal neediness and inner emptiness.

5. Laugh when s/he says to you, “I love you, but am not in love with you.”

6. Refuse to question your capacity to love.

7. Refuse to attend romantic comedy movies or read grocery checkout tabloids which espouse this type of shallow love.

8. Refuse to plead, beg and promise.

9. Tell him/her you would like to be married to an adult.

10. Tell him/her good luck in redoing his/her adolescence.

11. Refuse to accept his/her remorse for hurting you. State: You will only hurt yourself. I will be more than fine.

12. Contextualize – use short, powerful, reality oriented statements when handling emotional infidelity such as:

– You know your feelings for him/her will fade, don’t you?
– You seem so needy and unsure most of the time.
– Is there ever any quiet in your life?                                                                              

– You certainly have passion. Hope it doesn’t bite you.

13. Induce reality.

14. Refuse to be the sugar daddy or the doting mother.

15. Ask Yourself: Do I REALLY want to be married to this person.

16. Refuse to compare yourself to the other person. You are not defective!

17. Slow the pace. Learn to be silent with him/her. Don’t buy into the drama.

18. Expect his/her feelings for the other person to fade.

For more information on the emotional affair or affair #4: I fell out of love… and just love being in love, click on the banner below:

emotional affair

Sincere Regards,



About Laurence

Hi friends, when I began this blog 2 years ago I was at the end of what turned out to be a 51year marriage. My wife succumbed to cancer on 12/6/11 and life has not been the same since. It was and still is my goal here to promote long term marriages. There are many reasons this is difficult today, but I still believe it is possible and via this blog I will be trying to suggest steps you BOTH can take to save your marriage. Thank you
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