Save A Marriage Tip – Talk

How Do I Get Him/Her to Talk To Save Our Marriage?

Key Point #1
You have a need to know: marriage
  • How bad is it?
  • What am I up against?
  • What’s their relationship like?
  • What’s happening in the affair relationship that hasn’t happened with us?

Key Point #2

marriageYou need from the conversation:

  • Affirmation that you and the marriage are ok
  • Hope that the marriage is still intact
  • The need to determine if your spouse will stop the affair
  • A pledge to work on the marriage

Key Point #3

Your spouse finds it difficult to talk (or clams up) because:

  • Your spouse suffers from guilt or shamemarriage
  • Your spouse fears being scolded or condemned
  • Your spouse may feel inadequate as a communicator
  • Your spouse lacks the capacity to put into words the intensity of feelings
  • Your spouse is unaware of the thoughts  behind the feelings

Key Point #4

Extra-marital Affair relationships, contrary to what most believe, do not exhibit good communication.

  • And a person then says to me, “Well, they obviously have good communication.
  • Communication in an extra-marital affair relationship is based upon building up the illusions each have.
  • The communication centers around what each wants to hear to build illusions of who he or she thinks he or she is

Key Point #5

Tips on opening lines of communication:

  • Never ask a question (explained more in my materials)marriage

  • Never use the word “you.” Instead, make short, declarative statements, which get at the truth. (again explained more in my materials. A large book can be written on this topic.)

  • Be aware of body language. Notice body language closely or the various types of non-verbal communication, which give cues and clues.

The above information is taken from one of my first ebooks, “The first Step to Surviving Infidelity.”

How do I get him/her to talk? is one of the top 10 questions asked when first confronted with infidelity.

The other top 9 questions are also included in the e-book.

I also include the “Top 10 Questions You SHOULD Ask”  in “The first Step to Surviving Infidelity.”

To learn more, go to:


(Copy and paste this link in your browser if the above link does not work.)     
Best regard to you both in attempting to heal your marriage.

About Laurence

Hi friends, when I began this blog 2 years ago I was at the end of what turned out to be a 51year marriage. My wife succumbed to cancer on 12/6/11 and life has not been the same since. It was and still is my goal here to promote long term marriages. There are many reasons this is difficult today, but I still believe it is possible and via this blog I will be trying to suggest steps you BOTH can take to save your marriage. Thank you
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