How Do I Get Him/Her to Talk To Save Our Marriage?
- How bad is it?
- What am I up against?
- What’s their relationship like?
- What’s happening in the affair relationship that hasn’t happened with us?
Key Point #2
You need from the conversation:
- Affirmation that you and the marriage are ok
- Hope that the marriage is still intact
- The need to determine if your spouse will stop the affair
- A pledge to work on the marriage
Key Point #3
Your spouse finds it difficult to talk (or clams up) because:
- Your spouse suffers from guilt or shame
- Your spouse fears being scolded or condemned
- Your spouse may feel inadequate as a communicator
- Your spouse lacks the capacity to put into words the intensity of feelings
- Your spouse is unaware of the thoughts behind the feelings
Key Point #4
Extra-marital Affair relationships, contrary to what most believe, do not exhibit good communication.
- And a person then says to me, “Well, they obviously have good communication.
- Communication in an extra-marital affair relationship is based upon building up the illusions each have.
- The communication centers around what each wants to hear to build illusions of who he or she thinks he or she is
Key Point #5
Tips on opening lines of communication:
Never ask a question (explained more in my materials)
Never use the word “you.” Instead, make short, declarative statements, which get at the truth. (again explained more in my materials. A large book can be written on this topic.)
Be aware of body language. Notice body language closely or the various types of non-verbal communication, which give cues and clues.
The above information is taken from one of my first ebooks, “The first Step to Surviving Infidelity.”
How do I get him/her to talk? is one of the top 10 questions asked when first confronted with infidelity.
The other top 9 questions are also included in the e-book.
I also include the “Top 10 Questions You SHOULD Ask” in “The first Step to Surviving Infidelity.”
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