How Can “I” Save Our Marriage- Is It Even Possible?
I’m sorry. If you’re reading this you must be having a very rough time in your marriage. I know how difficult that can be. If you are asking, ‘How can I save our marriage?” I do have some tips that might be able to make a difference for you and your spouse.
There are a few things you have to consider very carefully and honestly first. You have to decide why you want to save your marriage.
That might sound like a dumb comment to make but sometimes we cling to things that we should just let go. We cling for the wrong reasons such as fear of being alone. Before you invest too much time and emotion in trying to save your marriage first make sure that it should be saved.
Now that you’ve done your honest soul searching and you’ve decided that your marriage is worth saving here are a few tips you can follow which should help:
1) It’s not all about you. So often in marriages one person tends to carry more of the burden. They are the ‘fixer’. They are the ones who carry most of the emotional baggage. If that person is you than you have to realize that you can’t do it all. If your relationship is going to be saved your spouse has to be able, and willing, to meet you halfway.
2) Try to communicate without condemning or criticizing. When a marriage starts to falter there are a lot of hurt feelings and frustrations from both parties. These hurts can build up into a huge wall of resentment. That wall is very tough to tear down. It will take a lot of time, patience, and open communication.
If the two of you aren’t good at communicating you might need to find resources such as a book or counseling, that can help you work on your communication skills.
3) Own it. If you’ve screwed up you need to be a mature adult and admit your mistake and apologize for it. This is key. Remember in step 2 when I talked about resentments building up? You can do a lot to ease those resentments if you just own up to your mistakes and offer a sincere apology for the hurt you may have caused. To someone who loves you and wants to make things work this will be a very sweet sound.
Follow these 3 steps and you will be well on your way to answering the question ” how can I save our marriage?”. Remember, the problems didn’t spring up overnight and they’re not going to go away overnight either. But if the two of you are willing to work together you can get back the loving, fulfilling marriage you both want.
Try to keep in mind that it is almost impossible to change another person. Only GOD can do that. The only person we can change is ourselves.