Resolving those marriage problems can be a tough task, but one that is well worth while.Here are three steps for getting your marriage problems resolved, which will also pull you and your spouse closer together, strengthening your emotional connection:
Step 1: Accept that Change is Possible
You may not have stepped forward to try to resolve your marriage problems because you hold a common belief: “people don’t change.” That has been buried deep in our psyche to the extent that many people feel themselves powerless within their own lives.
But science supports this fact: our brains are vastly capable of change. There’s nothing physical, then, that stands in the way of people making a change.
Step 2: Make Change Happen in YOU First
You are not powerless. You may not be able to change another person—such as your spouse—but you can change you by changing your attitude and perspective. When you make positive changes, your spouse will have to respond in some way that matches that change.
For example, if you normally respond to your spouse with snide comments, your spouse may become defensive in response. So, try speaking to your spouse the way you would talk to a neighbor or your boss: use a respectful tone. Now, is your spouse likely to respond defensively, if he or she doesn’t feel as if they are being attacked or otherwise dismissed?
Step 3: Be Patient with Change
Most of our marriage problems are bad habits we’ve developed, whether it’s lazy attempts at communication or we’ve simply forgotten how to have fun as a couple. The creation of new, better habits takes some time. And understand that there may be lapses: change feels uncomfortable until we get used to a new way of doing things, such as interacting with our spouse in a loving manner.
Yes, being loving toward one another may feel strange at first, because you’re unsure in your new role! Stick with it—resolving those marriage problems —-it’s worth it.
If I had a dime for every time I was told, “I thought everything was fine, until my spouse asked for a divorce”. . .