The day you got married was one of the happiest days of your life.
You were so deeply in love with your spouse you thought your heart might explode. Now your heart is breaking for other reasons … since the affair you’re worried that the love may begone forever and you want to know how to get it back. You want to move past the affair, in part, so you can get those loving feelings back once more.
I know it sounds kind of strange, but in one way the affair is an opportunity. It’s a chance to work through issues in your marriage that may have haunted it for a long time; a chance to reconnect with your spouse, deepen your passion for one another, and make your marriage BETTER than it has ever been.
This can happen. After treating couples for more than 35 years Dr.Gunzburg has seen many people survive and even thrive after the worst tragedies in their relationships. In fact, making your marriage BETTER than it has ever been is essential if you want to get past the affair. After all, the affair is in the old marriage. You don’t want that back.
You want something better. You want a marriage that is bulletproof – affair-proof.
In today’s email you will learn how to make that happen. I will introduce Dr. Gunzburg’s method of putting a fence around your marriage, restoring the love (and even deepen it), and solidifying your commitment to one another.
They key lies in making a love contract. Do you have one? It’s important.
The Love Contract: Making Your Marriage BETTER thanEver
After doing some of the work outlined earlier in this series onyour marriage – including coping with your own feelings, overcoming images that haunt you, rebuilding the trust, and getting your spouse to complete the cheater’s recovery program – you will begin to deepen your commitment to each other and build a fence around your marriage to protect all of the hard work you have done together.
Just as you have a fence around your house that defines your space and protects your home, you need to build a fence around your marriage that will keep another affair from happening. One good way to do that is by making a new beginning to your relationship by drawing up a love contract.
A love contract is a written and signed statement of your intentions and expectation about your marriage. It may sound weird to write down what you expect out of your marriage and sign it like a contract. For some, it may even sound futile. After all, your first marriage contract was broken what’s to stop this one from being stepped on as well?
Once your spouse has taken the steps in my last email, you will have reasonable assurance that he or she is, indeed, recommitted to the relationship. That makes renewing your marriage agreement more likely to succeed.
What’s more, when you have done enough work on your trust and communication skills, I believe you will ENJOY the process of sitting down together and drawing up a love contract. It’s an interesting way to have deep discussions about your hopes for your marriage, and it is discussions like these that make your marriage better than it has ever been.
On pages 163-168 of How to Survive an Affair Dr. Gunzburg provides a sample love contractand outlines the exact issues he recommends you cover in your contract.These include:
Expectations and hopes about intimacy and romance
Issues surrounding companionship
The need for attention and appreciation
Transparency and honesty
Accepting each other fully
And more …
Basically, Dr. Gunzburg provides a complete outline for all of the most important areas of marriage andprovides specific points that need to be discussed and addressed in eachof these areas for a marriage to be successful. He also give you the tools you need to brainstorm, write down your responses, and discuss all of this together so you can come into agreement about a love contract that makes sense for you and your marriage.
Working through this process is a powerful way to renew and deepen those loving feelings you share on your wedding day, and it’s an essential step toward a marriage that is better than it has ever been. When you complete your love contract you will have written proof that you are moving toward a brighter future with your spouse, and you will have the satisfaction of knowing you have faced the tough times together and have come out the other side more connected, more in love, and more faithful to one another.
You can begin experiencing this for yourself today by clicking on the link below and ordering How to Survive an Affair. The love contract is in Section 10 of the program, and if you haven’t yet started the program you have some work to do before you get to it. But whether it happens now or later, I feel sure you will find writing your love contract is one of the most intimate and restorative steps you have ever taken to rebuild your marriage.
Use this link right now to start working toward your love contracttoday.
Wishing you hope and healing for your marriage,
FREE Report: Alternative to Marriage Counseling
Download this FREE alternative to marriage counseling report from Marriage Sherpa. Add your name and email below to receive this FREE report and Marriage Sherpa’s FREE course. This program outlines the keys to:
- Save the marriage yourself…
- Bring your spouse home…
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- How to forgive…
- Have fun again…
- How to talk about…
- Rebuild the intimacy…
Wishing you the best in your marriage,