Save Your Marriage With These 3 Steps To Closeness

Healing the Marriage: 3 Steps to Closeness

What things can you do to help you in healing the marriage?

The first step in your journey to closeness is to understand and be aware of your patterns. You have ways of coping with emotional issues and relationships that you took with you from childhood.

save your marriage

There is a cure for communicating to save your marriage!

It was sensible for you to develop a coping strategy a long time ago by choosing between being close and not being close, between knowing and being known, between needing and not needing, between working together and working alone – by acting in a way that fit you best.

You survived. You coped. And you took those strategies along with you.

And even though those strategies may NOT work now in healing the marriage, or are terribly inadequate or maybe even a little destructive, you still use that coping strategy. It’s automatic. You don’t think about it. When someone moves close, you just act as you always have.

You move away from these unconscious coping patterns – that frequently get you want you don’t want – and start healing the marriage by being aware of three processes:

First, you must understand and acknowledge what I’ve just said: you must identify the coping patterns.

This will help you tremendously in healing the marriage. You must experience yourself, your partner and the significant others in your life in terms of patterns. A tremendous amount of freedom and hope emerges once you identify life-long patterns.

You must meta-comment. You must have the capacity to mentally and emotionally stand back and see the patterns, acknowledge the patterns and place a label upon them. Psychologists seem to agree that the greatest attribute of the healthy person is the capacity to meta-comment.

You must make distinctions. Men and women are not all alike. The finer the distinctions you can make, in terms of the patterns, for example, the more personal power you exude to influence and create the type of marriage or relationship that offers you genuine intimacy and closeness.

These three easy steps will not only help in developing intimacy and closeness with your partner, it can help in healing the marriage as well

Just click on the photo below and take a look at 3 ways you and your spouse can begin to enjoy the marriage you once began…again!

Best regards,

Laurence

Posted in alcohol and marriage, divorce, emotional abuse, Emotional Infidelity, extra-marital affair help, flirting, healthy marriage, Love, marital anxiety, marital stress, MARRIAGE, marriage communication, marriage makeover, Marriage Warning Signs, nagging, physical abuse, post affair emotions, saving a marriage alone, saving your marriage, senior marriage, social media and your marriage, spousal abuse | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Is Your Marriage Being Threatened by “Internet Cheating”?

“Internet cheating” is rampant in every aspect of our modern life.

The tools are many and varied. The results are sometimes sad. I asked my readers to comment on their experience with internet cheating. Here are just a few of the responses:

My marriage fell victim to internet cheating. I think internet cheating is an easy way. You can say, be and do anything you want, your hiding yourself from the outside world, perhaps people who do it use it as a safety net. They can find someone that they click with and lay the groundwork for another relationship just in case the one they are supposed to be committed to doesn’t work out.

how can I ever trust him again when he tells me it is over?
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My husband used Classmates.com to look up high school friends, then called them to locate his old HS sweetheart. Hundreds of texts, hours of conversations in less than a month lead to them meeting in person – all of which was denied. Took him almost 2 yrs before admitting what he did was wrong (his 1st affair was 10 yrs before & found he’d been in email contact with her all those years too). He thinks because sex wasn’t involved (it was only kissing and touching) that it wasn’t the same. How can he lie to himself like that? He knew it was wrong or else I’d been part of the process (I’d suggested he contact her for years since there was a possibility they had a daughter together & supposedly he found out she wasn’t his child). This lead to all other problems (he left our joint business with less than 24 hrs notice & took a job with one of our major clients – he worked there 2 yrs & was just laid off from there 6 months ago). So now after 4+ years, of evasion, avoidance, and blaming me (I was depressed for a while before his affair cause he’d withdrawn so much & I was at my wits end), I’m just not sure why I’m bothering to accept his behavior. If I followed his lead, we would never talk about anything important and I should just accept everything at face value and just move on as if nothing is wrong. I guess I just don’t understand his behavior.
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My partner thinks it “doesn’t mean anything” …..to me it is as bad as physically cheating because it is in his mind. He is addicted to it – at one point he had 107 different women he was communicating with – telling each the same story – I tried to “handle” it but in the end it was best for my mental health to walk away. The stuff on the internet has allowed many who would have never strayed before to test the waters and ruin many good relationships. I just think there aren’t that many “strong willed” people anymore who can be satisfied with one monogamous relationship. Sad to say. But I am happier now as I don’t have to always be “wondering”.

Posted in Adultery and marriage, alcohol and marriage, divorce, emotional affair, Emotional Infidelity, extra-marital affair help, flirting, healthy marriage, Love, marital stress, MARRIAGE, marriage communication, marriage makeover, Marriage Warning Signs, nagging, physical abuse, post affair emotions, Post Affair Recovery, saving a marriage alone, saving your marriage, social media, social media and your marriage, spousal abuse | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Social Media Infidelity And It’s Effects On Your Marriage

 

Hello,

I believe social media infidelity has become the #1 avenue for marital problems.

You see it doesn’t necessarily have to follow through with a physical affair. Social Media infidelity can put an emotional disconnect on your marriage.

 

Emotional Affairs And Your Marriage

Social Media Has No Place In The Marriage Bed.

Lets take a look at a few comments from our readers concerning internet infidelity.

Note the pain and ambivalence in the last reader.

The fantasy of it all, and the ease with which one can “pretend” to be anyone at all without face to face contact or daily interactions as in a normal relationship. So does the internet cheater truly fall in love with their online cheater? Or is it the fantasy and the ease of sustaining it via the internet that causes the emotional infidelity?
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After it has occurred and evolved into my wife leaving and beginning a relationship with her boyfriend of 23 years ago – what can I do to get her back?
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Firstly, I want to say that this email of yours is very pertinent to me! My husband was contacted by an ‘old girlfriend’ on Facebook! …… and it went from there!

My concern is that Facebook appears to be emerging as a particularly insidious mode of communication. It would appear that insecure or vulnerable people are ‘picked off’ or allow themselves to be sucked in because this is, in the beginning a reasonably easy way to get to know someone without the face to face awkwardness that goes with actually meeting someone. One can act out one’s fantasies on line and have the opportunity to sever communication without complications if one chooses to do so.

No wonder the fantasies often end up going further into the “How far can I take this?” scenario.
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My life was controlled by my mother, she chose who my friends would be, including male friends. I always listened and never disobeyed. Because of this control, I never was allowed to chose for myself. I eventually married (her choice, not mine) I loved my children and was a good mother, but my husband and I did not get along that well.

My children have left the nest and now I am lonely. I wanted to have someone to chat with or e-mail. I was approached online with a man from another country, who also wanted a pen pal only. We both agreed we would not cross any boundaries, that were not appropriate.

Everything, was fine for a while.

Then he mentioned that he had feelings for me, but that we would never ever meet each other. I should have paid attention to the doubts that were beginning to form, but I dismissed them.

He was praising me with compliments, that I never received from my husband. He was married also and educated more than I.

I was flattered by his attention.

But toward the end, he wanted a cyber affair with me. I refused his offer. I was very hurt because he thought I would actually consent to his wishes. I was starting to care for him very much.

Beware of wolves in sheep clothing.

Emotional Infidelity

Social Media Infidelity Robs Your Marriage

When you enter into marriage you make a commitment to yourself and to your spouse. And part of that commitment is that your spouse is to be the emotional and physical object of both your lives.

Social media infidelity, social media affairs, etc., Is robbing your spouse, your marriage and  yes you of the total commitment you promised.

Help with social media infidelity is available.

Best regards,

Laurence

Posted in Adultery and marriage, alcohol and marriage, divorce, emotional abuse, emotional affair, Emotional Infidelity, flirting, healthy marriage, Love, marital anxiety, marital stress, MARRIAGE, marriage communication, marriage makeover, Marriage Warning Signs, nagging, physical abuse, post affair emotions, Post Affair Recovery, saving a marriage alone, saving your marriage, senior marriage, social media and your marriage, spousal abuse | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Save My Marriage – Stop The Hurt

 

I Don’t Want you to Hurt Anymore

By Dr. Robert Huizenga

 

 I don’t want you to live in a life sucking ripped apart marriage.

dysfunctional marriage

A dysfunctional marriage is more than physical hurt.

I want you to wake up in the morning, excited for the new possibilities for your marriage.

 

If you are jaded, cynical – “Yeah, right! Dream on!” – Stop it!

 

Imagine what the marriage you truly deserved would look like.

 

Imagine;

  • your spouse noticing you, raising eyebrows, paying attention, asking questions, concerned about what you are doing, responding to your words, different body language
  • feel the tension, knot in stomach, heaviness in chest fade
  • feel your inner strength swell as you are noticed, acknowledged, considered
  • start to get your self esteem and confidence back
  • you could actually breathe when your spouse or partner moves close
  • from afraid of losing it all > knowing love is possible
  • from going crazy or numbing yourself > feeling in control and hopeful
  • from fearing your children are suffering > household with much less tension

Maybe, just maybe, you can get there!

 

www.saveamarriageforever.com/quick-marriage-turnaround

 

Try it!

 

And, maybe you need not TRY SO HARD!

 

marriage

Wouldn’t It Be Nice If This Is All Marriages Ever Turned Out To Be?

Discover an easier way, a way that holds integrity and power. A way to bring back the joy of your marriage. After all, the person you are married to is the same person you could not live apart from in the beginning.

 

Wishing you the best,

Laurence

 

 

Posted in Adultery and marriage, alcohol and marriage, divorce, emotional abuse, Emotional Infidelity, extra-marital affair help, flirting, healthy marriage, Love, marital anxiety, MARRIAGE, marriage communication, marriage makeover, Marriage Warning Signs, nagging, physical abuse, Post Affair Recovery, saving a marriage alone, saving your marriage, senior marriage, social media and your marriage, spousal abuse | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment