Marriage Restoration After An Affair

Marriage After An Affair – How To Rebuild Your Marriage

Have you ever wondered if there is any chance of a marriage surviving after an extra marital affair has torn your world apart?


Well the answer to that question will depend on the two people in the marriage. If both of you are not able to, or willing to, forgive and forget than it is unlikely to work out.

Trust is extremely difficult to In A Marriage.

Whenever you enter into a marriage with someone, you start with a blank slate. The other person still needs to learn to trust you but if you don’t already have any negative baggage it’s usually easier.

But, after they let their guard down, let you into their life and trusted you, it is going to be extremely hard to open themselves up to pain after you have shown them that their trust was misplaced.

Even though it will be difficult, that does not mean you should give up. Actually, the last thing you should do is to give up. You need to do everything you can if you want your spouse to love and trust you again.

With time, love and patience anything can be rebuilt, but again, it will be imperative that you are both willing to work on it.

Sometimes the best thing to do in this situation is to give your ex some time and space. While you do that you should be spending time figuring out why you did something so self destructive as to cheat on someone you love.

Please don’t make the mistake of thinking that infidelity is about sex, it’s not. It’s about ego, loneliness or insecurity. You need to address what your issues are that you thought would be cured by hooking up with someone else.

Before you can go back to your ex and expect them to take you back, you have to make sure that you know why you cheated before so you don’t do it again.

This knowledge will likely take you quite a bit of time to figure out. It will most likely also be painful for you to look at your less than desirable characteristics. But, that is the best chance you have of convincing your ex that they should take you back and that they can trust you.

To complete this step and to figure out what your issues are that you “thought” would get solved by cheating, you might need the help of a therapist. It is not easy to identify your own b.s. most of the time. You will most likely need help and having a therapist gently point out things that you need to change about yourself. It may not be fun but it will help you become a better person, if you let it.

When love is present pretty much anything is possible, even having a loving marriage after an affair.

Whether or not you are successful at keeping your marriage and earning your spouses trust again, will take a lot of work and total commitment and honesty. If you don’t think you can commit totally it might be best if you just let things go.

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About Laurence

Hi friends, when I began this blog 2 years ago I was at the end of what turned out to be a 51year marriage. My wife succumbed to cancer on 12/6/11 and life has not been the same since. It was and still is my goal here to promote long term marriages. There are many reasons this is difficult today, but I still believe it is possible and via this blog I will be trying to suggest steps you BOTH can take to save your marriage. Thank you
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