If your spouse has cheated on you, one question that you may have asked yourself is, “Does my spouse still love me?” You wonder how to go about saving a marriage that may lack love.
You look at it from your perspective: you love your husband or wife, and you could never cheat on him or her and cause them that kind of pain. So, if your spouse really loved you, how could they do this to you?
In this blog, I will give you some insight about the relationship between cheating and love of a spouse, and offer you two steps on how to think about the question of whether or not your spouse loves you. Read on…
How Does Infidelity Affect Your Spouse’s Love for You?
Saving a marriage is a difficult road. And the question of whether or not your spouse is still in love with you is quite difficult for anyone to answer other than your spouse. Whether you believe what he or she says is another matter, since trust is an issue for most victims post-affair.
But for the record, just because your spouse cheated doesn’t mean he or she has fallen out of love with you.
It’s very challenging to reconcile the idea that someone who loves you can completely betray you. It would seem that if your spouse truly loved you, he or she would not have cheated.
Sometimes the cheating spouse says there are reasons for going outside the relationship that have to do with the marriage, and sometimes the cheater will try to make it seem as if it had nothing to do with what was happening inside the marriage.
Regardless of the conscious or unconscious motivation, cheating was the cheater’s decision—and there is no “excuse” for being unfaithful in a marriage, and no “reason” that can justify the action.
Having an affair and loving your spouse aren’t mutually exclusive. It’s possible that your spouse still loves you despite that fact that he or she cheated on you. So, it’s highly possible your spouse still loves you.
Muddied Waters of Love
Your relationship may have started in what could be considered a more “pure” love, but then it got buried along the way, maybe due to miscommunication, the hurt of emotional outbursts or years of silence. And so, your spouse may have become confused and lost his or her way. (Not an excuse, even so.)
But just because they are lost, it doesn’t necessarily mean they have fallen out of love with you. Your spouse may not even be fully aware of the depth of his or feelings at the moment. Over the course of this traumatic time you may you’re your spouse say things such as:
“I love you, but I am no longer in love with you.” “I never really loved you. I just married you out of a sense of obligation.” “I didn’t want to hurt you by telling you how I really felt.”
Even statements like these don’t necessarily mean your spouse has fallen out of love with you—they can simply mean your relationship is very off-track. Here are two important steps to take in assessing love in your marriage……Let me continue this tomorrow. Thanks, Larry
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