Why is it, that when two people enter a marriage, things change?
They change to the extent that these same two people, who have decided to bond in marriage with each other, go from being in love to almost being enemies at times.
What is this thing called marriage dynamics?
Marriage is, or should be, a growing dynamic organism. So change is a positive aspect of marriage dynamics, whether we like it or not. It is how we react to change that is meaningful.
Maybe it’s the influence of media that says men and women are always at odds. Or, maybe it’s because couples begin to take each other for granted.
Whatever the “reason,” it doesn’t mean you’re stuck in a place where you’re not sure if you should call your spouse your enemy or your friend. The person you decide to form a deep emotional connection with in marriage with should be your best friend—nothing less.
In this blog, Lets look at 2 tips for showing your spouse you think of them as being a best friend.
Actions and Words For Keeping Tour Marriage Alive
Would you count your spouse as a best friend, your nemesis… or something in between?
If you crave a deep emotional connection with your spouse but you feel that you are worlds from it, then it may be how you’re treating each other.
It’s a great thing to feel comfortable enough with another human being that you can share whatever is on your mind. The downside of this, if you’re not careful, is that you’re sharing everything on your mind—without a filter.
When we stop being sensitive to the feelings of each other and voice our opinion in the harshest words possible or really show our ugly side, we are not respecting our partner any longer. The message we’re sending is, “I don’t value you or our marriage, and I know you’ll put up with anything I dish out because you should feel lucky to have me.”
You may be protesting: “I would never think that!” But, it’s not always our words… we’re usually judged by our actions. And, it takes having a conscious awareness of your interactions with your spouse so you know what message your words and actions are sending… and to ensure you’re saying what you really want to say.
Treat Your Spouse Like a Best Friend
So, what message do you want to send to your spouse?
Here are two tips for making sure you are sending the right message to your spouse: that you want to be best friends, not enemies. It’s all in your actions and how you approach your spouse . Here’s how:
Tip #1: Ease their Burden
In a harried, stress-filled world, one of the kindest gestures you can make toward someone is to find a way to take something off of their plate. Sure, you have enough things to handle yourself, but this gesture shows that you are willing to take on just a bit more to ease the strain on someone else.
It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can be as simple as one night, when your partner comes home, handling a chore they normally take care of and pointing out to them why you’re doing it: “I can see you had a rough day today. Let me do this to help you out a little.” What a friend, right? They’ll think you’re amazing.
Tip #2: Play Nice
You may be very comfortable saying anything to your spouse, especially when you’re angry, but check your approach. Are you being respectful, the way you would be to one of your regular friends?
It’s okay to disagree, but there’s a way to do it: with diplomacy. Letting your spouse know that you appreciate that they have a point of view, and that you may disagree on it but it doesn’t mean you have to dislike each other over it shows your partner that you value them.
Again, you can do this by specifically spelling it out: “Let’s agree to disagree. I’ll still love you in the morning.”
The Easy Love Course above may be the best help you can find to restoring your marriage to what you always wanted it to be!
My best to you in becoming best friends in your marriage.
Would you categorize your marriage with your spouse today as being that of friends, enemies or somewhere in between?