Recognizing you have a marriage problem is the first step along
the road to transforming your marriage, and for most couples simply
acknowledging there is a problem shatters the marriage myth. According to love
stories, movies, and fairytales we are supposed to live ‘happily ever after’.
But what happens when Snow White develops a drinking problem? What happens when
Robin Hood’s long working hours start affecting his marriage to Maid Marian?
What happens when Cinderella says she has ‘fallen out of love’?
We are taught in school how to do sums, how to read and
recognize Shakespeare, and how to conduct scientific experiments, but what do we
really know about the greatest social experiment of all, namely our ability to
keep the love alive in our marriage?
The fact is we know surprisingly little, and from the moment we
say “I do,” we are literally flying by the seat of our pants. We don’t get a
manual or a textbook telling us how to get it right, so our marriage becomes an
evolving set of experiments, learning and discovering more and more about
ourselves and each other, and figuring out what works and what doesn’t. Some say
if we don’t make mistakes we don’t really learn, but what do those mistakes cost
us, and is the cost too high for some couples?
That’s why I have 3 ways to instantly transform your marriage.
These are 3 things that you know will work and will help you get your marriage
back on track. Let’s call this your error-free way to redeem yourself and your
marriage in the eyes of your partner and show them that you are committed to
making positive changes in your marriage.
The first key to transforming your marriage is to stop looking
at your issues on a case-by-case basis. Couples that try to solve arguments by
going into the small details of every argument are never really going to deal
with the big stuff. I’m talking about the issues that REALLY matter in your
marriage, and the issues that keep coming up in every disagreement.
Spend too much time at work? Partner feeling unappreciated?
Don’t make love as much as you used to? Either of you feeling unfulfilled by
your lifestyle or the relationship? Is the communication poor in your
relationship? Does your need to always be right override the feelings of your
partner? Spend less time worrying about the details and more time examining the
issues and themes behind your arguments.
* The issue is your job. The theme behind this may be balance
between work and home life.
* The issue is you not doing enough chores. The
theme behind may be that you are being invited into making a greater
contribution into coupledom.
* The issue is your partner being grumpy with
you all the time. The theme is your partner needing to feel validated in the
If you have a greater understanding of what the key themes are
behind your marriage issues you are better able to develop effective solutions
that will really make a difference.
The second key to transforming your relationship is to examine
your beliefs about marriage. It’s okay to not have the fairytale marriage. Even
the best couples don’t always get it right. But what makes the imperfections
good or bad is how you choose as a couple to deal with it. When you disagree
about something, do you sit down and talk about it, or is your first instinct to
deny that there is a problem and hope that it will all go away?
You need to understand that it is okay to be imperfect. In
fact, admitting this to yourself and your partner can be one of the most
liberating actions you take in transforming your marriage. Admitting your
imperfections exposes a vulnerability that can bring you closer together as you
find ways to get some meaning out of your issues. Acknowledging that you do make
mistakes can open the door to acknowledging that there is a better way to do
things, and one of the lessons we are called into as a couple is finding that
solution together. Make a list of things that you have learnt since you got
married, and a list of areas that you as a couple can both improve on. Then try
sharing that list with your partner and ask them to contribute their
The third key to transforming your relationship is in
recognizing the differences between men and women, and acknowledging the
importance of both roles in the relationship. Just because your partner views
something different to you doesn’t make them wrong, and the same goes for you.
There are often several interpretations of the truth, and the key to marriage
success is in recognizing that women and men have key fundamental differences in
the way they view things. For men, their view may be a much more task-oriented
approach to fixing an issue, where a woman may focus more on the emotional
process as you both navigate your way through marriage issues. While both
approaches are different, with compromise they can both achieve the same
The first step to transforming your marriage is in transforming
YOU. Being married can be scary enough, but having marriage problems and not
knowing how to fix them can be paralyzing! All it takes is the ability to step
outside your day-to-day issues and look at different ways of viewing your
marriage. Every marriage problem invites you into growing and offers you and
your partner the opportunity to learn.
Now it’s up to you to take what you have learned and apply it
to YOUR renewed marriage.
This could be the resource that will bring and keep your marriage happily together forever.
Click and get yours today.