Isolating is just another form of marriage warfare.
It will destroy your marriage.
Do you feel a growing relationship distance between you and your spouse lately? Are you not connecting the way you used to, or feel like something is missing?
You may be experiencing some serious doubts about just how much your spouse still loves you. You worry that he or she has lost that loving feeling, and it makes you sick inside.
There is one way to find out if your partner still loves you, and lets look at this.
What Love Phase is Your Marriage In?
One of the most sickening feelings is one in which you feel you have somehow lost the love of the person you love.
You doubt yourself, wondering what you did wrong questioning whether you did enough in the marriage, gave enough of yourself.
Often, people get mixed up about what “love” looks like—especially in a long-term relationship. Let me explain.
Though we may understand it intellectually, when it comes to our marriage, we can struggle emotionally with the idea that love takes on a different flavor after the initial “butterflies in the stomach” stage.
You can still have passion in the bedroom and great conversations and yet… you may feel that your spouse has lost their enthusiasm for you.
And admit it: those early days of enthusiasm felt great, didn’t they? The “I couldn’t wait to talk to you again” confession that accompanied the late-night phone call, or the call ten minutes after being dropped off after your date. The spending-every-waking-moment-together phase.
When that’s gone, does it mean the love is gone too?
Not in the least. What it means is your love is maturing. It is one of the two main phases of love, with the other being those early-excitement days. It doesn’t mean you can’t still have relationship excitement, but at some point, couples tend to relax into their love.
While the key is not to relax so much that you still aren’t putting in effort, it is wise to understand what phase your marriage is in—and then see if you can sniff out love clues to help you feel more secure about what’s going on.
Are You Overlooking Love Clues?
You may get so caught up in looking for clues that your spouse doesn’t love you that you may completely miss clues to prove that your spouse does love you.
A lot of this stems from expectations and preconceived ideas about what “love” looks like.
You may expect your partner to still do the same things that were done in the early days of dating, such as fresh flowers, home-cooked meals, little treats and gifts.
Just because your relationship has been going on for a while doesn’t mean those little niceties should stop, but if they aren’t present in your marriage, it isn’t a sign that the love has grown cold.
Here are two tips for figuring out if you have overlooked love clues:
Tip #1: Listen to Your Partner
If you have broached the subject with your spouse that you feel their affection for you has dropped off, listen to your partner’s response.
Your spouse may protest and begin to remind you of things that have been done recently by them—because they love you. Listen and take in those words and see if you can accept what your spouse is offering.
Tip #2: Recognize Your Spouse’s Love Clues for What they Are
Sometimes, people become frustrated when they show love the way they know how—and it is completely missed by the other person.
Question yourself: do you hold any preconceived ideas of what love looks like? Is it really about fresh bouquets of flowers? Or, is it that helping hand around the house, or the little ice cream treat that was bought for you because it’s your favorite and you had a bad day?
Be open to recognizing the things that are happening rather than becoming hung up—and making yourself sick—because those things don’t resemble a picture you may already have in mind about what love looks like.
Click the link below and begin to enjoy your marriage again.
Saving Your Marriage
My best to you in building a strong, loving marriage with your spouse.
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