Nothing is more disheartening to a relationship than finding out that there has been infidelity. It can break your heart and can definitely knock the wind out of your sails.
But, the good news is that cheating in a relationship can be overcome with time. Please take the time to focus on your relationship and try to work things out, in many cases you can. Don’t give up.
One of the best things you can do is to take plenty of time to try to figure out what happened. Unless one of you is a chronic cheater, the cheating came from somewhere (not that this is an excuse) but to fix things you need to know what happened to create the situation in the first place.
If you or your partner has been going through some things and maybe that situation has put stress on your marriage or relationship than you may need to start there. But, I know I’m repeating myself but it’s that important, that doesn’t mean it was ok that either of you turned to another person to feel better about yourself. No matter what situations the two of you are dealing with, it doesn’t make it ok to have an affair.
It’s important to figure that out and fix the cause. You will also need to get help from a therapist. The hurt and anger that you can feel after someone has cheated can almost take on a life of it’s own and it can be very difficult to work past it, especially on your own.
If the two of you understand that the process will take time and it will be painful yet you are still willing to do what needs to be done, than the two of you have a great chance of salvaging your relationship and maybe even making things better than they were before.
Of course, if one or the other of you has a long history of cheating than the problem runs much deeper than just some issue in your relationship. If either of you is like that than the best thing for you to do is for the “cheater” to get some serious counseling to figure out why they are so flawed that they think it’s ok to do what they want to do no matter who they hurt and what promises you go back on.
When you make a commitment to someone, that is a promise. Even if you don’t come out and say the words “I won’t be with another person” once you and your partner enter into a committed relationship that is the same as making a promise. If you just go about doing whatever you want to do no matter who you hurt, than you have problems. Sorry, if that sounds harsh, but it’s the truth.
If this describes you than before you do anything please get yourself the help you need so you don’t continue to go through life hurting yourself and anyone who has made the mistake of loving you.
Tough love can be…well, tough. Many of us come to a point in our lives sometimes where we have to face difficult choices and decisions. While it’s not always fun and it’s never easy, making changes and saving your relationship is possible but you have to start with you. Cheating in a relationship can be overcome, just be willing to put in the time and effort.
So much of this information is just plain old common sense…But, somehow folks still need to try it out and see if it works.
Hoping this helps,