Saving Your Marriage – The Break-up

Stages a marriage goes through before the break-up. And, how the break-up  can be avoided.

Research shows as far we know very few people suddenly break-up. There is usually a series of stages of breaking up that all couples go through. If it comes as a shock, you probably have the reason why you were dumped. You weren’t paying attention to what was happening between you and your partner. Otherwise you would have spotted he/she wasn’t happy, and was ignoring you and doing their best not to spend time with you.

We all get caught up in our own thing from time to time and this isn’t usually a problem. But when your partner sees less of you than your friends and other family,it can highlight an issue in your marriage. If you do spend time together but are always fighting, you need to stop and break that cycle. Constant arguing achieves nothing and although initially it is fun making up, it can come to a point where you don’t bother trying.

Does your partner trust you?

Do you trust them? Lack of trust is also a symptom of a marriage in trouble. If you always second guess your lover or expect to know where they are all the time, they will soon see that this isn’t love and may move on. If you are behaving like this, you need to stop right now. Unless your spouse has given you reason not to trust them, you should believe in them and have faith that they will do the right thing.

Are you on the same wavelength as your other half? Do they share your happy feelings and commiserate when you are down or feeling low? Couples who instinctively, know how the other is feeling, will overcome most of the hurdles that life can throw at us.

Does your lover share your interests and hobbies? If she has made an effort to get involved, this is a sign that she really cares about you. No-one expects her to join you for your 5am fishing trips but if she seems interested in listening to your stories about what you caught, what size it was, that is a good sign.

Steps To Avoiding The Separation And Saving Your Marriage

Your spouse may have asked for a trial separation. Ok, so sometimes this is just an easy way of saying “you are dumped but I can’t say that!” But it doesn’t always have to mean this. Things can go wrong between two people and only time apart will help them to resolve the issues.

So if your lover does suggest this, agree but ask that they come to counseling with you. Show them that you do not want the relationship to end as they mean too much to you. Try not to put pressure on them and do not resort to emotional blackmail.  You cannot force someone to love you but you can turn a bad situation into something a lot worse by appearing desperate or manipulative.

True love is based on understanding and respect. Showing your spouse that you know this is a great way to avoid the final stages of the marriage break-up.

I keep injecting this , but I believe it is noteworthy.  My wife and I have been married 51+ years.  It aint always been lovey- dovey!   I am sure there were times when she really “disliked” me.  But in a committed marriage there are somethings that are never even considered.  And, for us it was divorce.  And, it has been worth it!


About Laurence

Hi friends, when I began this blog 2 years ago I was at the end of what turned out to be a 51year marriage. My wife succumbed to cancer on 12/6/11 and life has not been the same since. It was and still is my goal here to promote long term marriages. There are many reasons this is difficult today, but I still believe it is possible and via this blog I will be trying to suggest steps you BOTH can take to save your marriage. Thank you
This entry was posted in Adultery and marriage, Adultery Survival Guide, marital anxiety, marital stress, MARRIAGE, Marriage Warning Signs, saving a marriage alone, saving your marriage and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply