Saving A Stale Dry Marriage

If your Marriage is Stale as Dry Bread.

A story came across my desk the other day that I felt I should pass along:

Stale Marriage Cure

There is a cure for a stale marriage

I was raised in a small farming community in NW Illinois.

The big event of the year was the County Fair, along with some of the best sulky (horse) races in the state.

 

A huge round barn housed the horses. At the top of the barn was a majestic cupola, home to dozens of pigeons.

 

One hot August summer County Fair night the barn caught on fire, flames shooting from cupola into the dark night sky.

 

An eerie and sad sight was some of the horses running to their stalls, even tho smoke and fire surrounded their stalls and pigeons flying down into the flames, hoping to roost in the cupola.

 

Out of fear, and most likely panic, they automatically retreated to their seemingly safe place, although it meant their death.

 

There is a correlation to many marriages.

 

If you are fearful of losing your spouse, marriage, lifestyle and perhaps family, you tend to revert to old patterns that get you exactly what you don’t want.

 

Please know, no one is being critical of you.

Marriage Dynamics and personalities cause us to sometimes make wrong decisions.

This happens to ALL of us.

 

So many of your words and actions (maybe all of them,) especially in emotional crisis, emerge from life-long patterns designed to cope with your fears.

 

And when you have words and actions born from your fears, you produce more and more fear – NOT love.

 

These words and actions bubble to the surface without much forethought or awareness on your part. And your spouse responds with their unconscious words and deeds which they fine tuned to cope with their fear.

 

So, any attempt you make to heal or build your marriage, if it is accompanied with fear, is doomed to the status quo at best and more fear at worst.

 

This is hugely important.

 

An online course is now available that addresses powerfully this issue.

 

To start, you begin to manage the fear, or at least the external manifestation of that fear.

 

Once you do, the atmosphere around your marriage softens and new possibilities emerge.

 

The first Module offers a framework to experience change quickly, oddly enough by frequently doing the opposite of what you think you “must” do.

 

The more intensive Modules, in essence, help you eradicate the fear and replace it with a love that lasts forever.

 

I invite you to learn more about the first Module, Quick Marriage Turn Around.”

 

For more information and to gain access to the “Quick Marriage Turn Around” Module, click here:

P.S. The “Quick Marriage Turn Around” may help you if…

  • you keep recycling your marital garbage over and over and over

  • your marriage seems tied to drama or trauma

  • your marriage is stale as dry bread and sometimes stinks like dead fish

Best regards,

Laurence

Posted in alcohol and marriage, divorce, emotional abuse, emotional affair, flirting, healthy marriage, Love, marital crisis, MARRIAGE, marriage communication, Marriage Warning Signs, nagging, physical abuse, Post Affair Recovery, saving a marriage alone, saving your marriage, senior marriage, social media and your marriage | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Your Marriage Can Be Healed

You Can Heal Your Marriage

Heal Your Marriage

You Can Work At Making it Happen – Marriage Communication

Remember being ‘tuned in” to your spouse?

You typically think of fixing, healing or building your marriage by getting counseling, attending a seminar, reading book on marriage, committing to a date night, communicating better, becoming a better person, meeting the needs of your spouse and more.

What if these well intentioned actions miss the boat and the most powerful change takes place when you and your good intentions get out of the way, you stop trying so hard, stand back and  experience the marriage healing itself.

Yes, this can and does happen.

There is a process developing concepts and tools that create a Self Healing Marriage or relationship.

Let’s start with the reality that you are “tuned in” to your spouse or partner more strongly than to any other person (sometimes good, other times not so good.)

I remember this experience with my wife. 

I was in my office a few years ago and began to feel a tightness in my chest. My heart started pounding, I felt tense and anxious and I had this irresistible urge to drive home to see my wife. I HAD to do this.

I drove home and she was in pain. Her experience matched mine.

I was “tuned in.”

These stories are not uncommon.

There is a force or power that exists BETWEEN a couple who share a deep emotional connection.

I believe the capacity to “tune in” can be one element of a self healing marriage or relationship. (More on this later.)

For now, I want YOUR story. Help me in my research.

Search your memory bank and remember a time when you experienced being “tuned in” to your spouse.

Are there any examples of being ‘tuned in” that this article stirs?

Tell me your story. Where were you? What happened? What was it like?

Remember a time when you had an “inkling” or “feeling” that grabbed you and later discovered that the “inkling” or “feeling” to be reality.

Help my research by sharing your story at: https://www.surveymonkey.com/ r/JTNNVVX
My best to you as you both begin healing and strengthening your marriage.
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Posted in alcohol and marriage, divorce, emotional abuse, emotional affair, extra-marital affair help, flirting, healthy marriage, Love, marital anxiety, MARRIAGE, marriage communication, Marriage Warning Signs, nagging, physical abuse, Post Affair Recovery, saving a marriage alone, saving your marriage, senior marriage, social media and your marriage, spousal abuse | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What’s Killing Your Marriage?

What’s REALLY Killing Your Marriage

By Dr. Huizenga
Marriage Dynamics include so many facets of a marriage that it is hard to separate the importance of one facet over another.
However, most experts have found an conclude that without a strong emotional connection and commitment, most marriages will end up in divorce.  Or worse, surviving as a marriage on the rocks.
Save Your Marriage

You Can Work At Making it Happen – Marriage Communication

(The following is an excerpt from a blog I wrote about emotional connection. To read the entire blog, click the link at the bottom.)

 

You want a deeper emotional connection, more intimacy in your marriage – to feel loved, appreciated, valued, acknowledged, understood and more.

 

But, here’s a problem:

 

You probably don’t know what Emotional Connection looks like, feels like or lives like.

 

This is not your fault.

 

You lack good models and a vision of healthy and intimate connection.

 

You lack good models because neither your mother, nor father, nor their parents, nor your uncles or aunts, nor your next door neighbor were taught about a healthy emotional connection or how to save your marriage.

 

You and they were taught that an emotional connection becomes part of a marriage when…

 

  •    Your spouse gives you what you want and need.

 

  •    You stop being such a dysfunctional person.

 

 

I’m here to tell you that your world is powerfully laced with these 3 assumptions and they are KILLING YOUR MARRIAGE.


Click the link below to learn more and download your free copy of “Emotional Connection 101.”

 
I am  hoping this can be the beginning or the saving of your marriage.
Laurence
Posted in alcohol and marriage, divorce, emotional abuse, emotional affair, extra-marital affair help, flirting, healthy marriage, Love, marital anxiety, marital stress, MARRIAGE, marriage communication, Marriage Warning Signs, nagging, physical abuse, post affair emotions, Post Affair Recovery, saving a marriage alone, saving your marriage, social media and your marriage | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Marriage Dynamics – Connecting

You want a deeper emotional connection, more intimacy in your marriage – to feel loved, appreciated, valued, acknowledged, understood and more.

But, here’s the problem:

1. You run into a brick wall when you begin to talk about your desire for a deeper emotional connection with your spouse. Yes, there are some gender differences. Most men inwardly groan and emotionally run away when you say, “Let’s talk.” And, you may try and try harder to call attention to your need for more intimacy in your marriage, but give up muttering your frustration.

2. On the edge of your awareness dwells this thought: you are really afraid of a deep emotional connection. A wise man once wrote, “A deep emotional connection, a powerful intimacy in your marriage naturally scares and terrorizes us because to become deeply connected means that at some point we will lose the object of our connection – through walking away or ultimately through death.”

3. You don’t have the words.

  • I need more affection
  • I need you to listen to me
  • I need you to pay more attention to me
  • I want more romance
  • Tell me you love me

…don’t adequately express the deeper desire.

A powerful emotional connection dwells beyond affection, attention and words of love.

hurt

4. You probably don’t know what Emotional Connection looks like, feels like or lives like.

This is not your fault.

You lack good models and a vision of healthy and intimate connection.

You lack good models because neither your mother, nor father, nor their parents, nor your uncles or aunts, nor your next door neighbor were taught about a healthy emotional connection or how to save your marriage.

You and they were taught that an emotional connection becomes part of a marriage when…

pain

  • Your spouse gives you what you want and need.
  • You stop being such a dysfunctional person.
  • You perform to earn love.

I’m here to tell you that your world is powerfully laced with these 3 assumptions and they are KILLING YOUR MARRIAGE.

I’m frankly surprised the divorce rate is only 50% and 9 out of 10 report being unhappy in their marriage.

Here’s the Beginning of YOUR SOLUTION

I offer and invite you to consider that love – a deep emotional connection and intimacy in your marriage – is EASY and flows forth from a different path.

Start here by downloading my “Emotional Connection 101” Checklist. Enter your email address and you will go to an offer to receive the “Save Your Marriage Forever Formula – 11 steps to a self-healing marriage,” a tool to heal the hurt and deepen your connection and perhaps save your marriage.

Next, look in your email inbox for download instructions for “Emotional Connection 101.”

Emotional Connection 101

This will Happen When You Use this Tool

 

    • You will create a new vision for what emotional connection is truly like
    • You will learn a new language of Love and Connection that neither offends or creates distance
    • You will use a tool that keeps you going and keeps you on target.
    • You will gain Clarity and Confidence about truly being intimate
    • Can you imagine having a deep Emotional Connection?

Hint: Possessing a deep Emotional Connection is radically different and more satisfying than “falling in love.” Download the “Emotional Connection 101” Checklist and learn more. Emotional Connection 101

Best wishes as you begin a new year and hopefully a new beginning in your marriage.

Laurence

Posted in Adultery and marriage, alcohol and marriage, divorce, emotional abuse, Emotional Infidelity, flirting, healthy marriage, Love, marital anxiety, marital crisis, MARRIAGE, marriage communication, Marriage Warning Signs, nagging, physical abuse, Post Affair Recovery, saving a marriage alone, saving your marriage, senior marriage, social media and your marriage, spousal abuse | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment